Thursday, July 18, 2013

Guilty Snacking Pleasure

I have kids that want sweets, treats, and snacks ALL THE TIME.  They are totally weird and strange, and no one else's kids are like that, I know.  Aaaaaanywho - they come by it naturally.  I am a snacking freak.  However, I try to set a good example and emulate good eating behaviors by eating wholesome meals filled with veggies, whole grains, lean protein and sensible portion sizes.  They see me doing this and think to themselves, "Wow, my mom eats super healthy.  I'm so lucky that she makes me these super healthy meals every stinking night of the week."

In reality, though, I know their little kid brained monologue is more like this, "Wow, I can't believe that woman made chicken, brown rice and vegetables AGAAAAAIN!  I'm not sure how loudly I will have to screeeaaam I HATE CHICKEN for her to get it through her blonde head.  I wonder if I could figure out the door locks and latches to catch the ice cream truck coming around tonight.  I'm so hungry, but I'll be damned if I eat stupid chicken again.  I'm pretty sure I can wait it out until I get Eggos in the morning."

What they don't know is that when they're not looking, I snack and eat desserts like a sugar hoarder hiding behind the kitchen cupboards or after they go to bed in the blissfulness of nighttime solitude.  If those suckers paid attention for a few seconds they would see tell tale signs everywhere.  Wrappers in the garbage can, chocolate smears stuck on the corner of my mouth, popsicle drippings down my shirt, and really - don't they notice how quickly we go through ice cream around here?!  For Pete's sake we pick up ice cream almost every dang time we go to Costco!

And Nutella, oh sweet Nutella.  We had a nanny for a while that would make the kids Nutella sandwiches for lunch.  Lucky for those puppies I didn't find out about it for about a month so they had what I'm sure they would consider one of the best months of their little lives.  I mean Nutella on white bread?... and it counts as "lunch"?... and they didn't even need to eat something healthy to get it?  They made the mistake of asking me for it for lunch one day and I got suspicious and started asking questions.  The whole Nutella sandwich lunch racket was busted up at once.  They still wistfully talk about that nanny and her Nutella sandwiches every once in a while with a misty look in their eyes as they look down at whatever awfulness (cucumbers, chicken nuggets, and peaches - torture!!) I've given them to eat.  Maybe it's the tears in their eyes that prevents them from seeing me hiding behind the refrigerator door munching on a Nutella sandwich.  Seriously, have you ever tried a Nutella sandwich on squishy white bread?!?  They're amaaaazing (wink).

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